I like him, but I'm too shy.  I want to make conversation, but I dont know how to.

Should I smile at him and hope that he notices?  Should I say "hi" and hope that he waves back.  How come I get so shy around guys I have a crush on.  And then just end up with the ones who are brave enough to just ask me out...

How do I flirt without looking so needy? 

Many lives have been changed today, March 11, 2011 as a devastating earthquake caused a tsunami in Japan.  Death, injury, starvation, poverty, post-trauma, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc - people's lives have been changed all within the past 24 hours (and less).  A country has been changed.  The world has changed. 

Change. 

So many people want change.  They want to change their looks, their professions, their relationships, their economic status - and they want the change to happen within a quick moment.  But have you ever noticed that most changes that happen quickly are usually devastating events?  Today: a thousand people died.  People lost their families, their friends, their homes, their lives - everything that they worked for - ALL GONE.  changed.

A man wanted to fix his rain gutters and climbed a ladder but took a nasty fall, and in the matter of seconds, became brain-dead.  changed. 

There are countless stories of devastation that all have happened within short moments.  and lives were changed. 

But there are stories of people who work hard - day after day after day and become successful.  change.

why is it then, that we want such quick change? 

Red flag = danger zone

some of these can be red flags with women as well.

1.  He screens your calls.  He screens your calls and your text messages and does not reply within 24 hours.  This man does not respect your time nor does he respect you.  Of course there are cases where things happen and he is unable to pick up or reply within 24 hours, but if it happens often, it is a red flag.

2.  He introduces you as "a friend".  When men love women, they want to tell the way that "this is MY woman" or "this is MY girl".  Men, similar to dogs, like to mark their territory.  If he is still calling you "a friend" to his boys, this is a red flag. 

3.  He does not protect you.  Most men grow up being told that they must protect their family: their mother and their sisters - if they have any.  Therefore, signs that he wants to protect you whether it's from another dude, getting run over by a car, from the cold, or whatever you might need protection from, this is a good sign.  However, if isn't doing his duty as man towards you, this is a red flag

4.  He doesn't provide. Men are always told and feel the need to provide for your family.  I understand that these days, many couples go dutch: each party pays for their own or they split a check.  There are circumstances when a man is unable to provide, but during these times most men who love their families will go by any means so that their loved ones will be fed.   Men want to provide for their family, they want to provide for their loved ones, and so if he is not providing, then it's a red flag.

5.  He dangerously flirts with other women.  If it appears that your man is hitting on another women, this is a huge red flag.  He should not be exploring other options if he is in love with you.  All men look, it is a given, but if he acts upon his animal instincts then this makes him an animal.  Animals are capable of love, but do you really want an animal who is unfaithful?  I personally prefer the faithful dogs over the attention whore dogs.  Likewise, cheating is NOT acceptable, he should not be putting himself in a situation where there even is a possibility.

6.  He is not a man of his word.  If he says he will do something but never follows through, this is a red flag.  This makes a man totally unreliable.  If you do not know if he will be around when you really need him, leave him.  Unreliability makes it extremely difficult to trust a man.  No trust means no relationship. 

7.  He doesn't respect your boundaries.  No means no.  If a man is pressuring you to do something that goes against your morals and the boundaries that you have set up for yourself, he is a douchebag.  If you tell him no and he continues to pursue, he does not respect you and he does not love you.  Believe it or not, when it comes to sex - men respect women who make them wait.  However, if you want to wait, but he keeps pushing, and he resents you for it.  Then leave him immediately.  If you give in, then you just become his booty and nothing more.

8.  He has fed you lies.  Some men (and women) are extremely good liars.  If two things do not match up, be aware!  He can say he loves you, but is f*cking another woman.  If something feels shady, don't avoid the situation but do your investigation.  Don't stress out until you are totally sure, but if he has lied to you in the past, do not take his words at face value.

9.  He is an asshole to your friends/family.  Please don't be with a Spencer from the Hills.  If your man is only good to you and not your friends, soon or later you will lose all your friend, and then you will have no one to turn to when he is finally an asshole to you.  Many times you can tell if a man will be good to you for the rest of his life by the way he treats others in his life. 

10.  He is not helpful.  Again, just like being an asshole.  He may be very helpful to you right now, but if he never helpful to others.  You better believe that he will not always be helpful.  He is simply being helpful now to get you, but once he has you - soon or later all that help is fade away.  If he is always helpful to others, he will always be helpful to you.